Very funny, bunny

Regarding our habit
Of venerating a rabbit
Which at Easter brings eggs --
Is someone pulling our legs?

The Buzzard

The buzzard is seldom abashed
To dine on what's flattened or smashed;
Highway flotsam and jetsam
Is really what gets him;
He'll eat skunk, if it's properly mashed.

Maybe they kept perching on his lawn

In Sweden, an anteater at a zoo broke into the flamingo compound and murdered ten flamingoes.

The sly and artful aardvark
Is something of a card shark.
At games of chance
He’ll take your pants;
So take this warning in advance:
He always antes sixteen ants.

March comes in like a lion...

The lion prowls the Serengeti,
Shredding prey like cheap confetti.
At risk of sounding rude, or petty,
I’d rather run across a yeti.

Cell phones driving you batty?

Batgirl lives!
A British teenager who assumed that tremors in her bosom were caused by her vibrating mobile phone found a baby bat nestling in the padding of her 34FF bra. (From Harper's Weekly)

In other news relating to bats:
The World Health Organization warned people not to go into Ugandan bat caves after a Dutch tourist died from the Marburg virus, a hemorrhagic fever similar to Ebola. (From Harper's Weekly)

We assume the Bat cave in Gotham is OK.

The bat thrives on echolocation,
The same as the real-estate maven,
Whose mantra -- which rules her vocation --
She chants evermore, like Poe's raven.
"Location, location, location" --
Qouth the Realtor, evermore.

Yak? -- Yuk!

I forget
If yaks live in Nepal or Ttibet;
It's someplace horrid up there --
I don't care.

Is there a dining car?

The ticket man wished to know
Of the crow
If she'd be checking
The baggage she was pecking.
"Oh, no,"
Said the crow
(Whose name was Marian),
"It's carrion."

Don't let it get your goose

When a goose starts to cackle,
If a shout doesn't stop it, a smack'll.

The Warthog

The warthog has an ugly snout,
And always wears a frightful pout.
He suffers from the ague, and gout,
From eating too much sauerkraut.

Gone over the hedge

A New Zealand man threw a hedgehog at a 15-year-old boy.

"He was arrested shortly afterwards for assault with a weapon," said Sergeant Bruce Jenkins of the Whakatane police. "Namely the hedgehog." (from Harper's Weekly)

Hedgehogs can be thoughtless blokes:
They'll spit, and curse, and tell rude jokes;
They'll take the largest pizza wedge,
And then at night, they'll hog the hedge!

A hyenous crime

A hungry hyena
Ate my Aunt Edwina.
I was terribly sad --
She was all that I had,
Save for Uncle Egbert,
Whom it had for dessert.

Ho-hum on the range

Cattle stand in stillness udder;
Mortal thoughts ne'er cause a shudder.
Seldom do they quake or cow-er
Brooding on their final hour.
Would they beef more, were it known
They'll end up filet mignon?

The Gopher

The gopher deals in real estate,
Dabbling here and there;
His take-home earnings aren't too great,
His prospects, only fair.
He'll work his little patch of land
Until the day he'll croak;
His life is placid, boring, bland --
He'll never gopher broke!

The Camel

O'er parched plain the camel schlumps,
With baggage heaped upon its humps.
Should rain turn sands to seas of mud,
You couldn't go, but camels cud.

The Armadillo

In some Southern states, such as Texas,
You'll find armadillos with X's,
And such similar marks,
Along streets, and in parks--
Tire tracks on the old solar plexus.

The Groundhog

Hail to thee, O noble groundhog!
Valiant, staunch, serene, profoundhog!
-- You and your shadow mumbus-jumbus
Are quite as famous as Columbus!

23 Squidoo

A gonate squid, native to the North Pacific, was captured in the South Atlantic, 9,300 miles from home.

God
Forbid
A squad
Of squid
Should squat
Square
In your hair,
And squeeze
Your head
Till you’re red.


A squalid
Thought—
That squid
Should squat
In your
Coiffure!
To hurt you
Or squirt you
With ink.


I think
I’d squawk
At the shock.
I’d squirm
Like a worm!
I’d squeak –
I couldn’t speak!


It may be extremish,
But I’m squeamish.

Tonight we've got a really small shrew

In England, a rare shrew that stowed away on a ferry to Penzance was repatriated to the Isles of Scilly.

The pygmy shrew is the tiniest mammal in all of the land
Easily able to gambol and dance in the palm of your hand,
A cute, sprightly fellow, spunky, and so full of verve -- 
An excellent choice when selecting your python’s hors d’oeuvre.

Whale of a question

Working as a guide for a telephone texting service.  Yesterday's oddest question:  Would you get hurt if a whale peed on you?

The whale is the beast most enormous --
A mammal, our textbooks inform us;
With lungs and a spout,
To breathe in and blow out --
Whose blubber makes candles to warm us.

Maybe he'll bite your boss's leg

Today is National Take Your Dog To Work Day.

Though we often mistreat our poor dogs, on the other hand they are just as often treated like royalty

For their loyalty.

But as for myself, when I stop to consider that the dog is loyal, not to other dogs especially, but to persons,

My opinion worsens.